Ben Frey's definitions

cribster

A baby who is forced to become trendy by its urban hipster parents. More and more boutiques in upscale neighborhoods cater to these parents, stuck in 1/3-life crisis, who buy their baby clothes and accessories that are essentially scaled-down versions of the Hot Topic product line. It's a way for young moms to live the party life vicariously through their child, 16 years before that child will be allowed to party.

I don't know what's more disturbing: that the 35-year old mom in Starbucks is wearing a babydoll shirt that says "Sex Kitten"... or that her cribster is wearing the same thing.

by Ben Frey January 27, 2007

marble ceiling

Discriminatory barrier keeping a certain class of people out of an upper echelon of American government. Distinguished from a glass ceiling because not only is this class prevented from rising to the next level, they cannot even see what is going on up there.

Coined by incoming Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.

"When my colleagues elect me as speaker on January 4, we will not just break through a glass ceiling, we will break through a marble ceiling." - Nancy Pelosi, Jan. 3, 2007.

by Ben Frey January 5, 2007

BEF

Similar to Best Friends Forever (BFF), Best Enemies Forever (BEF) means two people who love to hate each other and rip on each other every chance they get. They are sworn enemies who form a bond of hatred so strong that it's more like a perverse kind of friendship.

Bill: "Goddammit, I hate that asshole Craig! Who does he think he's trying to impress??"
Dan: "Dude, will you stop talking about Craig? When did you two become BEF?"

by Ben Frey November 29, 2006

Friendly Confines

Chicago phrase for the greatest ballpark in the world, Wrigley Field. Unfortunately not, by any stretch of the imagination, home to the greatest baseball team in the world. Coined by first baseman and coach Ernie Banks.

Win or lose, it's always a good afternoon at the Friendly Confines.

by Ben Frey June 11, 2006

red pony

Also called a snot rocket, the act of covering one nostril and blowing forcefully on the other to expel flotsam and jetsam from one's sinus cavity, usally in a public place. Named for a character in John Steinbeck's "The Red Pony" with a predilection for said disgusting affectation.

I didn't have any kleenex and didn't see anyone down the street, so I launched a red pony on the sidewalk before hopping on the bus.

by Ben Frey June 11, 2006

sargasm

Deriving far too much satisfaction from glibly berating another with sarcasm.

"Oh, thanks a lot for drinking my last beer! No, it's my fault... if I wanted it for myself, I shouldn't have put it in the fridge!"
"Dude, don't have a sargasm."

by Ben Frey May 26, 2006

progressive dinner

A group meal where each course is served at a different person's house or restaurant.

Last night we did a progressive dinner downtown, with appetizers at Ben Pao, salad at Weber Grill, steaks at Gibson's, and dessert at the Cheesecake Factory.

by Ben Frey May 25, 2006