Ae5Ea8's definitions

crap circles

when you have sharted and there are unexplained sacred geometric shapes in your briefs

Real men prefer briefs, for 'tis easier to identify and catalogue crap circles

by Ae5Ea8 December 17, 2018

refaptory period

Combination of "fapping" and "refractory period." The refractory period is the recovery time during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have another orgasm. The refaptory period, therefore, is the recovery time during which it is physiologically impossible for a man to have another orgasm by fapping.

Lowering one's refaptory period can be a good hobby.

by Ae5Ea8 March 30, 2015

mayonnaisia

Feeling lost in Costco or another big box store when you can't find what you're looking for because they've changed up the location of the products on the shelves.

There is currently no FDA-approved drug to treat mayonnaisia, but intravenous Cheez Whiz is currently in clinical trials.

Daggumit. Where's the 50 gallon drum of mayonnaise?
mayonnaisia

by Ae5Ea8 March 10, 2017

internot

A slow internet connection, deriving from "internet" and "not."

Not another internot! I'm Netflix binging today, for Chrissakes.

by Ae5Ea8 February 17, 2015

unfriend

Derived from "unfriending" someone on Facebook, to "unfriend" somebody in the real world is to stop acknowledging their presence. Instead of looking at them as you pass by, basically you just ignore them as if you had never met them.

Getting unfriended is especially weird when you know somebody by virtue of your participation in a group or team — which normally gives you at least a mild sense of camaraderie — but the person who unfriends you still insists on basically ignoring you.

It's official. JoBob unfriended me. I saw him in the hall yesterday and he didn't even acknowledge that we had ever met.

by Ae5Ea8 April 3, 2015

text braking

Intentionally delaying your response by text so as to avoid the quick back and forth that would be expected during an actual conversation.

Although I was free at the moment, I applied text braking to the conversation.

by Ae5Ea8 April 18, 2016

fauxtention

"faux" + "attention": pretending to pay attention in class; an offensive tactic during lecture classes when you are using your laptop. Fauxtention involves giving knowing and "interested" nods to your professor to show you're paying attention. But what you're really doing is preempting any suspicion that you are surfing the internet as much as you really are.

Fauxtention earns brownie points.

by Ae5Ea8 March 27, 2015