by -hef- November 10, 2009
My wife keeps a lock on the ball jar to keep me in line.
My wife always keeps a lock on the ball jar, but opens up the dick jar once a year so we can have sex.
My wife always keeps a lock on the ball jar, but opens up the dick jar once a year so we can have sex.
by -hef- September 16, 2009
Ass + spatula. This is the spatula your mom used to beat your ass with when you were bad. Usually large enough to flip a 12" pancake, and strong enough withstand a 300 degree flame. Often contained a homing device so when you broke something in the house and went to hide the assula before your mom found the broken item, your mom could always find it to come beat some ass.
My mom was so proud of her assula that she had it bronzed.
I still have nightmares of my mother running down the hallway at me, assula in hand.
I still have nightmares of my mother running down the hallway at me, assula in hand.
by -hef- November 10, 2009
"Hand in Pants." Used by strippers, and customers of lap dances to ask for some special treatment in the back room, i.e. a hand job.
When I went into the back room with the stripper for a lap dance, I asked her if she was down with some H.I.P.
by -HEF- May 20, 2007
by -hef- September 16, 2009
In order to keep her gash tight, she had a c-section, but now she has a scargunt. Why I gotta see the scargunt on the beach?
by -HEF- October 23, 2008
by -HEF- September 20, 2009