appleteeny

Term used to describe the penis size of Apple computer users... teeny.
Margaret refused sex with all Mac users due to the prevalence of appleteeny.
by -hef- November 10, 2009
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shit chill

When you have to crap, but can't get to a bathroom and you stand perfectly still, clenching. Then your body shakes briefly like you were standing in 20 below weather.
I had to dump at the concert but I didn't want to miss "Hammer Smashed Face", so I held it in and got a shit chill.
by -hef- September 18, 2009
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anniversary

for her: the date on which you had your first date, or the day on which you were married.

for him: the date on which she... first blew you, fucked you, gave you a handjob, let you go brown, let you earn your red wings, swallowed your gob for the first time, let you go ass to mouth, kissed another hot chick in front of you, gave you a bloagie, or gave you a blumpkin.
I gave her flowers for our wedding anniversary, but got nothing on our bloagie anniversary. Weird.
by -hef- September 16, 2009
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ball jar

It's where your wife keeps your balls once you get married.
My wife keeps a lock on the ball jar to keep me in line.

My wife always keeps a lock on the ball jar, but opens up the dick jar once a year so we can have sex.
by -hef- September 16, 2009
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gap fuck

When a man and woman are naked, they are both standing up, the woman has her thighs together, and the guy fucks the gap at the top of her thighs just below her snizz. It works facing each other, or the guy behind.
My girl was on the rag, so I gap fucked her last night.
by -hef- September 16, 2009
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gurgilla

Synonymous with taint. The no-man's-land skin between the shit shute and the whack bag or snizz.
After biking for an hour, my gurgilla gets all numby and wants to fall off.
by -HEF- December 19, 2008
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Gut Cover

Anything used to mask or hide the existence of your gut.
I was sitting on the couch and used a pillow as a gut cover.

I untuck my shirt in the front so as to make people think it's just an untucked shirt and not all gut.

I wear a t-shirt in the pool as a gut cover.

Women are lucky because if they have large boobs, it pulls the shirt out beyond their gut, doing 2 things: 1) providing an effective gut cover and 2) providing a distraction to pull the eyes away from the gut cover to stare at the ample tittlery.

Sweaters that are ribbed at the waist provide an excellent gut cover.

All overweight male porn stars should quit. However, if they must work in porn, please always make them wear a t-shirt as a gut cover.

Women in porn who wear a garter belt as a gu(n)t cover... it doesn't work, we can still see that In-N-Out buger on your gunt. Especially with the arrival of HD porn.

Folding your arms over your belly while you are sitting down makes a terrible gut cover. Stop doing that.
by -HEF- September 20, 2009
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