-hef-'s definitions

Gamatio

Getting blown while playing a video game. Pronunciation - guh-may'-shee-oh.

See if you can finish an entire stage on Dirt 2 without crashing while getting a gamatio.

by -HEF- September 20, 2009

ball jar

It's where your wife keeps your balls once you get married.

My wife keeps a lock on the ball jar to keep me in line.

My wife always keeps a lock on the ball jar, but opens up the dick jar once a year so we can have sex.

by -hef- September 16, 2009

scargunt

When a woman has a c-section, she is left with a scargunt.

In order to keep her gash tight, she had a c-section, but now she has a scargunt. Why I gotta see the scargunt on the beach?

by -HEF- October 23, 2008

H.I.P.

"Hand in Pants." Used by strippers, and customers of lap dances to ask for some special treatment in the back room, i.e. a hand job.

When I went into the back room with the stripper for a lap dance, I asked her if she was down with some H.I.P.

by -HEF- May 20, 2007

Doom Spoon

This is the large cooking spoon your mom used to beat your ass with when you were bad. Often made of plastic and large enough to whale on 2 asses at one time, the doom spoon was able to withstand years of abuse. The doom spoon typically came with holes in it to prevent wind resistance and increase velocity, pre-impact. The doom spoon also often was used as a projectile when the target could not be reached, e.g. when the target climbs a tree to avoid the beating, the doom spoon may be thrown at the ass to inflict low-level pain.

The doom spoon typically has a 15 year shelf life. Once the child turns 15, the doom spoon becomes more humorous than painful. The 16th year of life is often referred to as "the doom spoon-free year."

Mothers across the world switched from wooden doom spoons to plastic in the early part of the 20th century in order to prevent splintering.

by -hef- November 10, 2009

diaper dick

1. what you call someone that is too young to understand something.
2. what you call someone younger than you.

I can't believe the shit music that these diaper dicks are listening to these days.

by -hef- September 18, 2009

appleteeny

Term used to describe the penis size of Apple computer users... teeny.

Margaret refused sex with all Mac users due to the prevalence of appleteeny.

by -hef- November 10, 2009