Definitions by -HEF-
Assula
Ass + spatula. This is the spatula your mom used to beat your ass with when you were bad. Usually large enough to flip a 12" pancake, and strong enough withstand a 300 degree flame. Often contained a homing device so when you broke something in the house and went to hide the assula before your mom found the broken item, your mom could always find it to come beat some ass.
My mom was so proud of her assula that she had it bronzed.
I still have nightmares of my mother running down the hallway at me, assula in hand.
I still have nightmares of my mother running down the hallway at me, assula in hand.
Doom Spoon
This is the large cooking spoon your mom used to beat your ass with when you were bad. Often made of plastic and large enough to whale on 2 asses at one time, the doom spoon was able to withstand years of abuse. The doom spoon typically came with holes in it to prevent wind resistance and increase velocity, pre-impact. The doom spoon also often was used as a projectile when the target could not be reached, e.g. when the target climbs a tree to avoid the beating, the doom spoon may be thrown at the ass to inflict low-level pain.
The doom spoon typically has a 15 year shelf life. Once the child turns 15, the doom spoon becomes more humorous than painful. The 16th year of life is often referred to as "the doom spoon-free year."
The doom spoon typically has a 15 year shelf life. Once the child turns 15, the doom spoon becomes more humorous than painful. The 16th year of life is often referred to as "the doom spoon-free year."
Mothers across the world switched from wooden doom spoons to plastic in the early part of the 20th century in order to prevent splintering.
Doom Spoon by -hef- November 10, 2009
appleteeny
appleteeny by -hef- November 10, 2009
Gut Cover
I was sitting on the couch and used a pillow as a gut cover.
I untuck my shirt in the front so as to make people think it's just an untucked shirt and not all gut.
I wear a t-shirt in the pool as a gut cover.
Women are lucky because if they have large boobs, it pulls the shirt out beyond their gut, doing 2 things: 1) providing an effective gut cover and 2) providing a distraction to pull the eyes away from the gut cover to stare at the ample tittlery.
Sweaters that are ribbed at the waist provide an excellent gut cover.
All overweight male porn stars should quit. However, if they must work in porn, please always make them wear a t-shirt as a gut cover.
Women in porn who wear a garter belt as a gu(n)t cover... it doesn't work, we can still see that In-N-Out buger on your gunt. Especially with the arrival of HD porn.
Folding your arms over your belly while you are sitting down makes a terrible gut cover. Stop doing that.
I untuck my shirt in the front so as to make people think it's just an untucked shirt and not all gut.
I wear a t-shirt in the pool as a gut cover.
Women are lucky because if they have large boobs, it pulls the shirt out beyond their gut, doing 2 things: 1) providing an effective gut cover and 2) providing a distraction to pull the eyes away from the gut cover to stare at the ample tittlery.
Sweaters that are ribbed at the waist provide an excellent gut cover.
All overweight male porn stars should quit. However, if they must work in porn, please always make them wear a t-shirt as a gut cover.
Women in porn who wear a garter belt as a gu(n)t cover... it doesn't work, we can still see that In-N-Out buger on your gunt. Especially with the arrival of HD porn.
Folding your arms over your belly while you are sitting down makes a terrible gut cover. Stop doing that.
Gamatio
Gas Shock
The look on a woman's face when you fart while she is blowing you. Synonymous with fart frown, shit-gas scowl, or gas grimace.
Super-sized bean burrito... $5.00. The gas shock on her face when you blow down on her while she is blowing you... priceless.
diaper dick
1. what you call someone that is too young to understand something.
2. what you call someone younger than you.
2. what you call someone younger than you.
diaper dick by -hef- September 18, 2009