Assula 

Ass + spatula. This is the spatula your mom used to beat your ass with when you were bad. Usually large enough to flip a 12" pancake, and strong enough withstand a 300 degree flame. Often contained a homing device so when you broke something in the house and went to hide the assula before your mom found the broken item, your mom could always find it to come beat some ass.

My mom was so proud of her assula that she had it bronzed.

I still have nightmares of my mother running down the hallway at me, assula in hand.

Assula by -hef- November 10, 2009

Assala

Assala is literally the best girl on the face of the earth. She brings such joy and light to life it's amazing. She treats people so sweetly like everyone is her own. She has soft hands and soft hair, a really sexy body, and her body warmth makes you feel amazing. Everyone loves her (even if she doesn't believe it), and damn she's so gorgeous (even if she doesn't believe that either but she really should).

She is very hard to get.
She is a person you can trust and you should never give up on. She needs you as much as you do her. If you are loyal to her she will return the favor, but if u screw with her you lost your chances.

Assala waits for the right man. And if it's you damnnn you're a lucky guy, she'll be the best thing that will ever happen to you. Assala is shy at first. Only because she's scared she'll get hurt. She's been hurt too many times in the past. But when she opens up to you, you'll never want to let her go. Assala is sweet and innocent, but take her out and you will be amazed. Fun and sexy, you would never guess Assala has a bit of dirty mind. She is adventurous if you know what I mean, but is still the classiest gal you could find.

When you find a Assala, you better grab her before someone else does.

Assala

Assala by anonymous Ilias September 12, 2019

Textual Assualt 

When you pummel someone with text message when you are drunk, most of them sexual and inappropriate. Usually the person you are texting will not respond or try and get you to stop

I committed Textual Assualt on my friend last night. Sent her 30 texts in a row of jibberish and pics of my dong.

Textual Assualt by Samuek June 4, 2013

assplastic 

Synthetic material used for the cosmetic enhancement of the buttocks.

You should never buy assplastic on ebay.

Only a professional should inject you with assplastic.

assplastic by Smiling Larry March 9, 2011

Assumative 

To be assuming all the time.

Dont be so assumative!

Assumative by taylorsaurus December 3, 2011

ASSCLAMPING 

ASSCLAMPING IS WHEN THE ASSHOLE CLAMPS UP TO STOP HAVING ANYTHNG OOOZ OUT THE TIMING IS BAD,AND ITS TIME TO TAKE A DUMP NO PLACE TO GO, EXCEPT FOR A GAS STAION, 10 MILES AWAY, SO THE PERSON GETS ASSCLAMPING

WTF, I WAS GOING TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE TO MEET A CHICK AND I STARTED GETTING ASSCLMAPING, WTF? I THOUGHT MY ASS WAS GOING TO IMPLODE WITH ALL THAT ASSCLAMPING HAPPENING TO HOLD BACK THE SHIT

ASSCLAMPING by ROACHES October 1, 2012

assplain 

gender-free, verbose, condescending explanation that was not asked for nor needed. Typically patronizing and incorrect.

Jeff: So I watered the lawn and plants last night and...
Chad: Did you remember to put in the electrolytes and do it from the top down? From the top down. Add those electrolytes. If you don't do it right the grass grows in sideways and won't seed properly. Not to mention they'll no longer use the sun for photosynthesis.
Jeff: Dude - Why did you assplain this to me?

assplain by MadTiki July 6, 2021