85 definitions by ☆★Midas★☆

Wish-Wosh

The act of gaining a sexy lassie's trust only to give'r the ol' "quarter pounder with balls".

Jules: Dad, have you seen my phone?
Me: Come in my room, it might be anywhere...
Jules: Ok!
Later...
(Muffled) Dad stop i'm only 15.
Me: That's what she said, and that's what you're 'bout to say soon...
Jules: What?
Me: *lip bites naughtily*
Jules: OoooOooOOOooh daddy yes! Give it to me! Gimme the ol' wish-wosh

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 8, 2022

alabama porkchop

Something in a fancy restaurant someone by the name of say, Latasha Marie would order. Also commonly cooked by an incest person and with a side of purple crusty toenails.

Hi my name is Latasha Marie and I would absolutely love some... alabama porkchop

by ☆★Midas★☆ May 2, 2022

Dirty Domination

When a couple has sex right after at least one of them just came home without getting a chance to take a shower. Dirty only meaning sweaty, but if you have a boob, stomach, penis, balls, vagina, ass, or foot fetish, then it’s just a sweaty domination, don’t forget not to mix the 2.

Marigold: Honey I’m home! Ahhh… what are you doing???
Hey!
Ohhh
Ahhh
Ooh yeah daddy…
*Sweaty testicle banging on sweaty pussy* ooooOoOOooOoh Daddy harder faster better stronger. Dirty domination daddy oooOoOoooOooOOooOoh daddy yes.

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 14, 2022

Ptenis

When you type "penis" but make the most 'dumbass' typo. (because p and t are 5 keys apart)

Man: "Search up ptenis"
Google: "Do you mean 'pterodactyl penis'?"
Man: "No"
Google: Shuts off computer

by ☆★Midas★☆ November 23, 2021

dino stomach

When you fuck a girl so deep and hard, that her egg fucking explodes. Then, causing an extinction in her ovaries.

It was a casual day in the Angry Bird Kingdom... and oh! WHAT THE FUCK?!
Red: So Chuck you will not believe this
Chuck: Wha-
Bomb: Hey man what the fuck did you do to my bed.
Jay Jake and Jim: We fucked our 3 twin sisters last night!
Red: ...
Bomb: I just pounded your mother last night, Jake!
Jim: NANI?
Bomb: I gave her a dino stomach!
Matilda: Looks like I'll shoot other things out my ass!
\('v')/ good for you

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 16, 2022

lgbtqia+ is a sin

You have a choice, you're still human, but no, god sees that as a sin. Alas, it's forgivable, but ay! That doesn't mean you gotta rub yo virgin asses in my face! I know you're gay I'm not mentally damaged, unlike you.

Gay dude: Hey man wanna be friends, im gay.
Me: Your brain is damaged in every way and not even exorcism will fix it. Why don't you becone friends with Yuri?
Gayass: Whose Yuri?
Me: Yuri Tarted.
Lesson learned:
LGBTQIA+ Is a sin!
-I think god said that in the bible

by ☆★Midas★☆ January 26, 2022

homosomatic typing

Homo- Same
Somato- Body
Typing the name of the body part corresponding to the one you are typing it with. I.E. typing "nose" with your nose.

Tim: Nose
Haha I typed "nose" with my nose!
Jake: Heart
Tim: Jake...?
Jake: ...
Tim: Jake, WhAt ThE fUcK?!
Tim: ...
Jake: HOMOSOMATIC TYPING...
Tim: AHHH SHIT, WHAT THE FU-

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 22, 2022