☆★Midas★☆'s definitions

If your girlfriend has...

...a scar on her right eye.
One golden left eye.
Has black hair.
Is pale as can fucking be.
and has nice breasts and a good 2 inch cleavage...
That's not your girlfriend
Thats my fucking wife... Marigold.

Jules: Hey dad look, I'm lesbian!
Me: THATS A SIN! GIVE ME THAT OR ELSE GOD WILL FUCKING SEND YOU TO HELL!
Me: Oh, some nice tits.

Wait... If your girlfriend has...
WAIT THAT'S YOUR MOM
Jules: Lgbtqia+
Me: The I stands for incest...

Jules: DAD WAIT...
Me: *Strips her*
Jules: Oh daddy please no oh my god not again daddy wait hol o- OOoOoOoooOhhhh. AhhhhhHaAAA Oh daddy harder ohhhh. Stick- OooooOOOOooOaaaaahHH

Me: *cums*

by ☆★Midas★☆ January 31, 2022

My name is...

Walter Hartwell White, I live at 308 negra arroyo lane albequerque New Mexico 87104, I have recently smuggled methanphetamine from across the United States. I have a drug problem consisting of where I FAP to my daughter's selfies, I also have attachment issues with my wife so I hot glued my penis inside her. I also broke into your house and stole your wallet, I also broke into your child's bedroom and proceeded to then masturbate to his 'sextapes' he makes on his Nintendo 3DS at 12 am. All while twerking on his nose, I also broke into Alcatraz and fucked a dead corpse, which was actually a corroded stripping pole in Handurez, speaking of Mexico, I have shipped your wife to Argentina, where she will get a BDSM session for exactly 48 hours straight.

My name is... big fat mama llama.

by ☆★Midas★☆ March 27, 2022

fun-sized mommy

The sexiest chick you'll ever fucking see, she'll burn your eyes just by looking at her. She's even sexier than Marigold! Her white drooping pussyflaps are the sexiest size. Her nice sweaty pussy fits the just perfect girth and length of your cock, she's perfect. Her white titties are full of fun, she will come home every night from work just to slightly barely unbutten her shirt to show the tops of her tits, she will make you turn on brighter than the fucking sun. Your dick fits in her cleaveage perfectly, just making it the perfect conditions to cum so far in her throat. She will have you dominate you like a country in WW2. She will ride you SO HARD you will shoot your cum up her gaping white butthole like Hitler shooting the Americans. She will dominate you, she wants you, and you... whoever reading this, deserve the world.

Hey Midas, hows your wife, Marigold?
Me: Oh, Her, Yaah, I found myself a fun-sized mommy last night and I fucking owned that pussy like a monopoly plot.
Hmmm... I'm kinda jealous

Me: Oh you... wanna play??

Her: Oh fun! Whadd'ya have?

Me: *lip bites while blushing*
Her: Ohhh... that game... *strips*

Me: My dick will fit! FUCKIN' FIT I MEAN!

Her: OooooOoOooOOooh Daddy harder... Ohhhhh *squirts*

Me: Well I was gonna make a sextape but I nutted so fast it's a gif. Oh well...

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 3, 2022

willie2024

Some time traveler in TheTekkitRealm’s YouTube unsolved episode.

GiveItToMeDaddy26: who are you?
Willie2024: It’s a me Mario biyyyotch

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 5, 2022

seriously specific

Something said in such exact details that it gives a hint that the person did it.

Smegma man: Guys do you know how to fix a magnesium fire after getting circumcised in Mexico at 3:09 Am in a hospital while being deported to Puerto Rico?
Al: Dude are you alright? That was seriously specific.

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 21, 2024

meowcles

That giant buff cat from fuck-my-ass-nite.

Bro i want meowcles to step on me, kick me, abduct me, skin me... ehhh...
Dude 2: go touch some fucking grass you giant cow pussy!

by ☆★Midas★☆ January 9, 2022

star wars is gay

Something only a dumbass would say…
Because Star Wars is fucking awesome!!!

Little penis man: StAr WaRs Is GaY!!! 🤤🤤🤤🤤
Boba Fett: Why don’t you take your Star Trek microass and slam it on your dick, oh wait… like you have one!!! I be 🅱️usin’ man!

by ☆★Midas★☆ February 17, 2022