The 1:16th scale, retarded love child between a Zamboni and a Street Sweeper. The Zambortion comes fully equipped with a retractible, flexible hose allowing its operator to perform abortions with a flick of the wrist, all the while never having to remove his fat ass from the built in toilet seat. The Zambortion is commonly found wherever there is a sidewalk and most importantly, direct visual contact with an extremely hot receptionist. While saline implants are not a requirement they will however, greatly increase your chances of an elusive Zambortion sighting.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods

A minature Zamboni that cleans sidewalks
and is equipt to do abortions. Can fit in hard to reach places. Also has tilt steering.