wottish 

a person who is not from scotland who likes to act like or claim they are scottish. tend to own kilts, tartan, glengarry hats and for the more extreme a full set of bagpipes.
compareable to: plastic paddys (wannabe irish), wamericans, wappanese etc etc.

wottish wotsman - hoots mon, are ye a scotsman?
scotsman - yep, i am.
wotsman - haw man am toal scoattish masell.
scotsman - you sound american
wotsman - here ya prick
scotsman - *beat beat beat*

wottish by E to the u a n November 22, 2007

wittishism 

A statement or story that has the pattern or structure of a joke or quip but is actually a confirmation of expectation rather than subversion of it.

- /u/WrongYouAreNot

“I identify as an attack helicopter, snowflake!”

“Sorry, sport! That ‘joke’ isn’t really offensive or funny, it just shows that you don’t really understand humor. You’re just appealing to other people who think like you with wittishisms like that.”

wittishism by ElliNoriColi May 13, 2021