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work wank 

A wank performed while at work and during work hours, usually in the toilets and for the purpose of:

A: Giving yourself a little boost during a particularly unpleasant or difficult task.

B: Rewarding yourself for completing a particularly unpleasant or difficult task.

C: Seeing how much money you can earn from your cunt of a boss just for having a wank.

D: Stopping yourself from feeling the need to molest that hot new girl in reception.
Fuck this self appraisal is doing my head in, I'm off for a work wank.
work wank by thatmrox August 26, 2011
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work wank 

2 conceivable scenarios

1) You’ve actually managed to ‘finish the internet’, so that desperate for something to do you think ‘fuck it, I’ll go for a wank’

2) You’ve got a hangover which would maim an elephant. You’ve just taken a dump who’s splash back made New Orleans look like a puddle. You really can’t face the 15 second walk back to your desk…. So you think ‘fuck it, I’ll have a wank’. Oh, and The release of endorphins cure the headache.
Jesus if I sit here any longer listening to that useless cunt jabbering on her mobile I think I might break something.

I'm going for a work wank.
work wank by Disco October 21, 2005
Related Words

A Work Wank 

A work wank is a term used to when an individual masturbates during work/paid hours.
Andy: "Got a little horny so had a work wank, do it on their time and get paid"
A Work Wank by foshoure May 31, 2020

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"
Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013
Word of the Day on July 18, 2026
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

Hair spider

A tight, tangled knot of loose hair and lint that forms inside clothing during the clothes dryer cycle. It typically hides inside garments, causing an annoying lump or a phantom tickling sensation against the skin until it is found or falls out onto the floor during folding.
I was folding my clothes and a huge hair spider fell out onto my hand
Hair spider by Kmorsels July 15, 2026
Word of the Day on July 16, 2026