A wank performed while at work and during work hours, usually in the toilets and for the purpose of:

A: Giving yourself a little boost during a particularly unpleasant or difficult task.

B: Rewarding yourself for completing a particularly unpleasant or difficult task.

C: Seeing how much money you can earn from your cunt of a boss just for having a wank.

D: Stopping yourself from feeling the need to molest that hot new girl in reception.

When you eat dirt for the first time and leave your family to build a shack in the woods

2 conceivable scenarios

1) You’ve actually managed to ‘finish the internet’, so that desperate for something to do you think ‘fuck it, I’ll go for a wank’

2) You’ve got a hangover which would maim an elephant. You’ve just taken a dump who’s splash back made New Orleans look like a puddle. You really can’t face the 15 second walk back to your desk…. So you think ‘fuck it, I’ll have a wank’. Oh, and The release of endorphins cure the headache.