The Ugly Fairy is the “Great Equalizer” in the game of military deployments. The Ugly Fairy is always there to meet all of the Iraq Cinderellas, Iraq Princesses, Guantanahoes and every other CHUD, Troll, Chupacabre and Ogre posing as gorgeous women.
You will find the Ugly Fairy on the return flight or even on the ferry to Leeward smacking those bitches across the chops with her Ugly Stick. Some especially evil transgressors are sometimes smacked multiple times. Once this has happened, there is justice and universal balance is restored.
Army Dude 1: Hey, get a look at that!
Army Dude 2: What happened? Five minutes ago she was so beautiful.
Army Dude 1: Yeah right… Looks like the Ugly Fairy smacked that bitch.
Army Dude 2: Like about fifty times……
Someone or something that bites your ankles.
To a postman, an ankle biter is often known as a dog.
To an adult, an ankle biter may be a toddler.
To hikers, an ankle biter is sometimes a tick.
And so on.
When a manwill search for hours to find something that is laying out in the open on a table. Items are often easily found by a women.
Man: "I have been searching for hours for keys."
Woman: "You mean the ones sitting there on the coffee table?"
Man: "Where?"
Woman: "Right there in the middle of that table."
Man: "oh, must have been Male Pattern Blindness"