tough toilets 

A popular Midwestern expression similar to "Tough Luck."

Guess what republicans, you lost the election again, tough toilets! or This letter here says that I can't keep my $1000 a month junk health insurance policy that only covers a box of band-aids, oh well, tough toilets!

tough toilets by BanditFan November 16, 2013

touch toilet 

Probably the biggest achievement somebody can obtain. If you happen to achieve touch toilet, you will be worshipped for months, even years. Touch toilet is one of the hardest life achievements anybody could be able to obtain. If you happen to achieve it, your name will be everywhere, you will be full of fame and money , your life will better up, you will have no worries and will definitely, absolutely, get a wife and all of your wishes shall come true.

person 1: Yo, who is this guy Zeke?
person 2: Wtf? You haven't heard of him? He is the one who touched toilet! You're a faggot for not knowing that. Even though I'm a guy i want to have his kids. Like, man, he literally achieved " touch toilet " in his life!
person 1: Damn! That's epic! I wish i was him!

touch toilet by refrigerator 23 June 3, 2020

toilet paper touch 

when you are wiping your ass and the toilet paper rips so your finger touches your asshole and possibly goes up the asshole by "accident"

dude i was taking a wet ass shit and the toilet paper was really thin so i accidentally did a toilet paper touch

toilet paper touch by THE TOUCH July 15, 2009