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toploader 

The act of defacating in somebody's washing machine. Similar to an "upper decker" the toploader has the advantage of not only being more inconvenient to the victim, but also much funnier to the person performing, as well as their friends. The toploader is a serious commitment to pranking and should only be used when the victim is a total douche, or it would be really funny to everybody else.
Man, that guy wouldn't let me use his bathroom so I snuck into his laundry room and gave him a toploader!
toploader by Seamour Butz February 10, 2010
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toploader 

n/ A communal spliff with most of the marijuana packed tightly at the top, so the first person to smoke it (usually the one to roll it) gets a far bigger high than the others.
p.n/ Someone who rolls one of the above.
I swear to never be, roll or not beat the living crap out of a toploader.
toploader by I August 16, 2004

Toploader 

somebody who puts all the weed/cannabis in there end of the spliff/joint
You tight arse you've toploaded the spliff
Toploader by Dicko December 9, 2004

Toploader 

A term used for describing a hand job where the females fingers are placed around the males penis with her palm on the bellend.

*Similar to how you would hold a gear stick*

Commonly seen in nightclubs
"That fat bird gave me a toploader at the side of the dancefloor last night, I jizzed in her hand and she had to leave."
Toploader by BlGBUCK August 5, 2009

toploader 

prankster placing a fresh turd in the cistern of an adversary, then letting it fester unhindered
'I hear that dude is the phantom Toploader'
toploader by marco2000 April 27, 2006

Toploader 

a dick with the bollocks on the top (offensive)
That guys (got) a toploader
Toploader by xander February 3, 2004

top loader

The act of defecating in the tank of a toilet. Also known as an upper decker.
I left them a top loader on my last day at the office.
top loader by joshua September 29, 2003
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Pee Calculus

When you have to pee in a movie but don’t want to miss anything, and must do the following mental equation: will the amount I have to pee cause enough discomfort to diminish my attention capacity for the remainder of the movie to an extent which is greater than the amount of the movie I would miss by making a mad dash to the restroom.
I saw Satantango last night, wonderful film but by the 5th hour I had to start doing pee calculus.
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