the word "town" spoken in a geordie accent sounds like the slang term "toon." newcastle's football (soccer) fans are known as the "toon army" - this led to a sky sports presenter being fired recently for using a shockingly poor taste pun on "tsunami" which i'll not repeat here.
"I'll tell you how to get a toon. Prove to me you know what you're doing as a soldier. Prove to me you know how to use other soldiers. And then prove to me that somebody's willing to follow you into battle."