stiffen up 

A phrase used by some fat fuck with a cast on his hand

He told his friend to stiffen up after he referred to him as "fatass" for getting three plates

stiffen up by Bagmoney September 6, 2021

Stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass 

A description of the state of rigor mortis, usually in a victim who has died where discovery of the death is delayed until after rigor has commenced

A reference to a rural belief that some members of the clergy frequently have anal sex with farm animals, particularly young calves

"They found him dead out in the woods. He was stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass."

Stiffer than a preacher's cock up a calf's ass by Redd D. Ringbone February 24, 2010