1. A derogatory phrase used to describe an individual, male or female, who is
useless, unnecessary, and therefore completely undesirable in any situation. Salad spoons tend to be emotional creatures and lack a good sense of humor. They have the amazing ability to ruin any fun, completely destroy good moods, undermine positive vibes, and totally suck in general.
Nobody needs a
spoon to eat a salad, and nobody wants to be around a lame ass salad
spoon.
Salad spoons are the modern day version of a wet blanket .
2. A salad spoon moment is any time that an otherwise legit individual has a momentary lapse of
gangster and therefore exposes a temporary vulnerability. Referring to this moment as a salad spoon moment is a way to bring comic relief to the situation.
Calling these soft and emotional outbursts salad
spoon moments is the modern day equivalent of saying no homo .
"
Yo, you know you're my boy, right? I need you to know that... I love you, man.. You are my best friend, seriously, and I don't know what I'd do without you." / "This
salad spoon moment was brought to you by tequila, Marlboro Reds, and the letter D."
"Hey, man. All the homies are going to a dope ass house
party tonight. Then we'
re heading to the strip club to make it rain on some topless
bitches. You down?" / "Nah, I can't. It's Friday night so I am helping my mom
clean the tubes on the vacuum cleaner, then taking my girlfriend to see the new Twilight movie."
"Hey, man. I was walking downtown when I saw a
church on fire, so I ran in and saved one thousand orphans from certain death, then continued walking home. Then I was attacked by a rabid grizzly
bear, which I fought off with my bare hands. Now I'm pretty sure the
bear is stalking me and planning to eat me alive. I'm only a few blocks from your crib - can you pick me up? I really need a ride." / "Well, sorry, bro, but I really shouldn't be driving in this condition. I already drank two whole fuzzy navel wine coolers while I was organizing my collection of Ed Hardy t-shirts, and it's dangerous to drink and drive."
