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sobturbate 

The act of masturbating while sobbing after which a person either realizes that they are lonely, or that the male/female they are interested in is with another person or not interested in them.
I wanted to hang out with people this weekend, but all of my friends are out with their significant others....I guess I'll just stay home and sobturbate.
sobturbate by thedirtyjerz November 11, 2011
Words you can keep

sobberbate

To masturbate, using your own tears as lubricant
"Vondersaar was sobberbating all night last night"

"why don't you go sobberbate alone in your room"
sobberbate by HELP!POLICE! September 21, 2011

Sobberbate

The act of vigorously crying and masturbating at the same time, without consideration to the appropriateness of the surroundings or others. Not to be confused with exhibitionism, sobberbation is rooted in sexual compulsion and the wanton abandonment of normative behavior.
Did you see that fucked up woman by the pool yesterday? After crying about her divorce and mom being a bitch, she spread her legs like yoga and started to sobberbate in front of everyone.

It was pretty hot at first. But got weird quick.
Sobberbate by MassIndulgence June 29, 2022

Sadturbate

My girlfriend broke up with me today. I sadturbated three times.
Sadturbate by Tubbyfatty October 19, 2014

shiturbate 

Thomas missed the meeting because he decided to shiturbate.
shiturbate by Fuzzy Buttons December 15, 2013

shaturbate 

To shit and masturbate at the same time
I was sitting on the toilet, and I decided to shaturbate to this picture of Jenny
shaturbate by Poloshirts64 May 7, 2014

Sexturbates 

When you are forced to masturbate after sending a sexually explicit text to someone that is ignored.
Kristin- 'What up sexy Steven...I so wish you were here right now to *blank* my *blankety* *blank*...I want you so effin' bad right now'
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After checking her phone for the umpteenth time and pattin' herself on the back for being so hot and sexy, Kristin gives in and sexturbates.
Sexturbates by kffluffy August 5, 2010
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Lookie at these bunch of narps, NARP NARP NARP
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He is high school liquid, he ate lunch with the nerds and hung out with the jocks after school.
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Like walking over small green hills in the countryside then coming across a purple patch of flowers, thus it being unique and out of the ordinary.
I hit a real purple patch.

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