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shitty lunch hands 

when someone just ate their nasty/greasy/smelly/messy lunch and then proceeds to touch your hair, shake your hand or touch you in another way so as to wipe all the nasty crap they have on their hands on you. sometimes people do this by accident, but most likely not.
shana comes and starts touching diana's hair.

diana: hey wtf?

shana: what?

diana: your shitty lunch hands are touching my hair.

shana: oh sorry. fml.

shitty handshake 

To deliberately shake hands with someone, upon using the shitter without washing your hands directly after wiping your arsehole. Example: "I bumped into Mr Villos today on my way back from the shitter & I gave that Malaka a shitty handshake, stupid bastard didn't even realise that I didn't wash my hands after wiping, as I was happily shaking his hand".
I bumped into Mr Villos today on my way back from the shitter & I gave that Malaka a shitty handshake.

shity hand grenade

Your having sex and you really need to shit, but you dont wanna stop banging her, so u shit in ur hand and slap her in the face.
While haveing sex, Paul really needed to shit so he whiped out the shity hand grenade on the bitch.

spitty hand 

The smell that lingers on the givers hand after a blow job.
RD:"What's that smell?"
BU:"That's my spitty hand"
RD:"Where'd you get that from"
BU:"I was bobbing for applies this morning w/SC"
spitty hand by Bethy U December 9, 2008

smitty handshake 

The act of sticking your hand in your ass crack and shaking some ones hand...
Bruce gave Amanda a Smitty Handshake..and she loved it..
smitty handshake by captnhowdy January 3, 2005

shity hand grenade

when a woman is preforming the art of felacio and trys to stick her finger in your ass hole, you shit in her hand, and while she is looking at the shit in her hand you kick her in the back of the head hard enough to make her face hit her shity hand with enough force to make the poop shrapnel atomize and cover a wide area
jessica was sucking freds dick and stuck her finger is his ass....fred shat in that bitchs hand and roundhoused her in the back of the head....there was shit everywhere....stupid bitch wont try that again after that shity hand grenade
shity hand grenade by c_mac December 12, 2007