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Self gratification 

The "polite" term for spanking the monkey, choking the chicken, beating your meat, polishing your pole, having a wank, ect. ect. You get it. It's how the news man would tell the audience you've been jerking off.
In local news, city councilman McAccerty was allegedly found engaging in self gratification behind the bus shelter with a toy giraffe and a roast chicken. We go live on the scene of his press conference now.
Self gratification by Dr_dude November 3, 2019
Words you can keep

Self gratification 

What alot of you little women hating, homophobic, backstabbing, lolly pop licking bedwetters are really doing on this web site. Try to remember that this is really just entertainment mixed with a tiny bit of insight and education. Its not as much fun when you use it to bash ex's or spew your racial epitaphs. Get over yoursef already. She was no good for man!
My girlfriend,________ just broke up with me because she's a stupid wh*re!!! (sniffle) Or maybe it's because you had too many cats and too many posters of Star Trek on the walls?
Self gratification by Cornfucker January 25, 2004

Self gratification 

When a person goes out of their way to please oneself.
"Jane just signed up for charity work even though she only think of herself"
"She's just doing it for self gratification, man"
Self gratification by Dreshi January 10, 2017
More from Urban Dictionary

Back when I lived in upstate new york 

A meaningless, unimpressive, self-serving introduction. An indicator that the story about to be shared will be pointless and dumb.
Back when I lived in upstate new york, I also had to park on the street - on two occasions, we got enough snow, mixed with just the right plowing, that my car was lifted off the ground from so much snow being jammed underneath it.
Word of the Day on August 31, 2026
Acronym, meaning Too Long Didn't Understand
Similar to TLDR
Sister: This meeting was to discuss the rough draft of my essay, where we discussed the subsidiary questions I added in my rough draft. We also discussed the relationship between my main title and the real-life situations I chose to use in my essay. We discussed the structure of my essay as well, specifically the Math AOK section and how it relates to the contradiction of the title. This second meeting was particularly helpful in discussing the implications of my essay claims and how to apply the title across various areas of knowledge. There were many sections of the essay that could have been cut down in wordiness and the ways of knowing required further and more in-depth analysis.

Me: Woah! TLDU!
TLDU by L-Evans January 14, 2019
Word of the Day on August 30, 2026
the act of having anonymous sexual encounters with other men in public toilets.
Cottaging by greeef April 24, 2003
Word of the Day on August 29, 2026

Salad Days 

green inexperienced youthful judgement and cold blooded execution of those judgements.

Rashness with little concern of consequence.

Antony and Cleopatra. William Shakespeare

"My salad days,
When I was green in judgment, cold in blood."

- William Shakespeare, Antony and Cleopatra, 1.5
"How did you end up in jail?"

"Salad days, 'nuf said."
Salad Days by GilbyRFC0 October 7, 2011
Word of the Day on August 28, 2026
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