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Playing with yourself

Do you like playing with yourself? 'cause I DO.

tap it more than twice, your playing with yourself 

IF you hit your penis more than twice after urianting to get rid of dribble, your touching yourself for pleasure opposed to clearing yourself off.
You say "if you tap it more than twice your playing with yourself" to speed up the line for the urianals.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.
I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

bang a you-ee 

of Massachusetts orig. "to make a u-turn"
hey, we missed the bar, bang a you-ee
Word of the Day on July 19, 2026
The word 'flag' as pronounced by people with thick Belfast accents. The term is a perfect encapsulation of the disproportionate and overblown reaction to the removal of the Union Jack (as in 'de fleg') from above City Hall in Belfast. Where previously it had flown for 365 days per year, it is now flown on 17 designated days of the year - in line with many other British cities.

The event caused a portion of the Protestant community ('fleggers') to make international pricks of themselves as they proceeded to wreck the fucking place, claiming it was another erosion of a 'British' identity they perceive to have been under attack since the horrifying spectre of equality reared its head in Northern Ireland.

The word 'fleg' - and indeed 'fleggers' - fittingly describes a section of humanity unconcerned with knowledge, reality or the vagaries of the English language. Like America's tea-baggers they are ruled by instinct, fear and paranoia with a side dish of rampant bigotry and startling ignorance of the world around them.
"Wat de fuck like! The taigs got de fleg took down! Let's wreck de fuckin place! No surrender!"

"De fleg has been took down! Before ye know it there'll be a united Ireland! Attack Short Strand! God Save The Queen!"
Fleg by OnionFleg August 9, 2013
Word of the Day on July 18, 2026
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026