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phone fucking 

To engage in an episode of mutual masturbation with a member of the opposite sex over-the-phone (i.e., phone sex)
"Wow! Me and my girlfriend just got finished phone fucking, and she sounded so hot when she made herself cum!!"

"I met this woman on the Internet, and I think I am going to phone fuck her before I meet up with her face-to-face"

"Because my husband is away for two weeks on a business trip, I think I am going to have to phone fuck him every night when he calls me!"
phone fucking by Yeezus Fan December 10, 2013
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Pick up the fucking phone now! 

When a totally unexpected or improbable event occurs and you must let all other relevant parties know as soon as possible.
*Spack No.3 appears in CoD Deathchat compilation on Youtube*

Spack No.2: "Jack, pick up the fucking phone now!"

Spack No.1: "What phone?"

Spack No.2: "Your phone!"

*Phone rings*

Finger Fucking Your Phone 

When a persons fingers are rapidly touching or swiping the surface of a cell phone because they are so consumed with their phone. This also applies to someone not rapidly swiping or texting, but who is obsessed with their phone in an intimate manner.
Ex: "Are we going to have sex, or are you going to spend the rest of the evening finger fucking your phone?"
Ex: "I thought the movie was good, however my date had no thoughts on it as she was finger fucking her phone the whole time"
Ex: "I thought she was going to be a good lover by the way she finger fucked her phone all the time, but as it turns out she likes her phone more than me."
Ex: "You are finger fucking your phone so hard it is going to cum"

Throw Your Phone On The Fucking Roof Paradox 

If someone asks you to throw your phone on the roof for no reason and you do throw your phone on the roof you will be doing it for the reason that someone asked you, but if you don't throw it on the roof you wont be doing it for no reason so you have to throw it on the roof but you will be doing it for the reason that someone asked you, but if you don't throw it on the roof you wont be doing it for no reason so you have to throw it on the roof but you will be doing it for the reason that someone asked you, but if you don't throw it on the roof you wont be doing it for no reason so you have to throw it on the roof but you will be doing it for the reason that someone asked you, but if you don't throw it on the roof you wont be doing it for no reason so you have to throw it on the roof but you will be doing it for the reason that someone asked you, but if you don't throw it on the roof you wont be doing it for no reason so you have to throw it on the roof but you will be doing it for the reason that someone asked you, but if you don't throw it on the roof you wont be doing it for no reason so you have to throw it on the roof but you will be doing it for the reason that someone asked you, but if you don't throw it on the roof you wont be doing it for no reason so you have to throw it on the roof but you will be doing it for the reason that someone asked you, but if you don't throw it on the roof-
"Hey, you should throw your phone on the fucking roof for no reason lol"
"isn't that the Throw Your Phone On The Fucking Roof Paradox?"