onlineness

The fact of maintaining a constant online presence, in order to be able to instantly react to any new internet developments, no matter how insignificant. Onlineness may lead to acute loneliness and pathological syndromes such as extralineaphobia.

Onliners often have a very limited and/or virtual social life, despite new technological developments such as smartphones enabling them to be on the internet at all times. Side effects to social onlineness include annoying behaviours such as googling-every-word-in-a-real-life-conversation to more dangerous ones like uploading-pictures-of-that-car–wreck-while-driving.

- Matt's become such an extreme onliner, it's impossible to have a chat with him without at some point having to react to one of his virtual friends' tweet. I think I'll stop seeing him altogether.

- Yeah, or you could offer him to have drinks on a video call. That'd make him feel silly enough he'd stop.

- You dream, I bet he'd be up for it.

- Onlineness is a bitch.

by Jacobus De Gnapet January 9, 2013

onliness

Definition of onliness

plural -es

: the quality or state of being the only one working of an indicated or implied kind or category <was the only person and was lonely in his onliness>

I looked around and said damn I am the oldest and onliness working out here....

by onliness January 12, 2017

Onlineliness

Loneliness associated with excessive Internet use.

I've been stuck in my room all weekend checking out online dating sites and I've got a bad case of onlineliness.

by exlibris May 9, 2014