Masturbating
Choking the chicken
Beating the bishop
Taking matters into your own hands
Holding your sausage hostage
Squeezing the cream from the flesh
twinkie
Having a date with Pam and her five friends
Having a tug-o-war with the cyclops
"the five finger knuckle shuffle on the one-eyed,
blue-veined, purple-headed, custard-chucking,
salty yogurt slinger."