nose trumpet 

When a person blows their nose so hard that it sounds like

Dizzy Gillespie getting warmed up before his next set. Usually caused when one nasal passage is held closed with a tissue while the other is left slightly open. Sometimes sounds like a loud fart which often confuses innocent bystanders as they expect to smell the familiar scent of ass but are left feeling disappointed due to a lack of closure. Multiple blasts of the horn may be heard repeatedly, especially if one has a cold or allergies or has built up a lot of congestion. Just as a cellist utilizes their bow, a nose trumpeter uses his tissue paper to craft subtle harmonics and vibratos which perfectly accompany the sounds of nasal fluid blasting out of his nose holes at 100 miles per hour.
Every office job usually has at least one of these talented horn players, and late in the day when the office is quiet you can often hear their stunning performances echoing across the cube farm. Note that nose trumpeting is a finely honed skill, so when you're just starting to play you may only be able to play a single, very loud pitch. This is expected, but with consistent practice, you'll be covering your favorite jazz standards in no time.

Looks like Bill's playing his nose trumpet for the entire office again.

nose trumpet by stuckonearth November 27, 2021

Trumpet Nose 

When the one's nasal passage is blocked or shaped, at any particular time, in such a manner that a slight whistling noise can be heard when breathing in or out through the nose. One said to be releasing such a noise from his or her nose is temporarily gifted with the power of the 'trumpet nose' in all its glory. Sadly, as suggested earlier, the effects of the 'trumpet nose' are only short term, so treasure it whilst it lasts!

Megan: ...Chris...Hey Chris!!!

Chris: Yes love?

Megan: ...I've got...I've got...TRUMPET NOSE!!!

Chris: That's just fantastic news Megan, I'm oh so jealous..!

Megan: I bet! When was the last time u had it!? HA

Chris: ...it was such a long time ago, I forget...*sad face*

Megan: So T...Good luck getting to sleep tonight babe!

Chris: *mega sad face*

Trumpet Nose by Frank-Hood27 October 8, 2009