Unrequited love aimed at a charismatic member of the broadcast media. Increasingly attractive, cosmetically and often surgically enhanced screen readers, have been developed to foster feelings of puppy love in their audience. Brainwashing intensifies as the hypnotic bond strengthens. If you find yourself sporting a giddy smile when you see your news source, it’s time to turn the channel.
I just can’t find an unbiased news source. Where do you get all of your info?
I watch Tucker. He’s so right about everything and I love his eyes, and his nose, and hair, and tan. and ties.
That dude? Really? I think you’ve got a newscrush on him. Turn the channel.
How did you know who to vote for?
The love of my life told me, Rachel on channel 72.
You know her?
I don’t know her know her, but I know her, you know? Like when she's looking into my eyes and teaching me stuff...
Turn that channel. You got a newscrush.
I watch Tucker. He’s so right about everything and I love his eyes, and his nose, and hair, and tan. and ties.
That dude? Really? I think you’ve got a newscrush on him. Turn the channel.
How did you know who to vote for?
The love of my life told me, Rachel on channel 72.
You know her?
I don’t know her know her, but I know her, you know? Like when she's looking into my eyes and teaching me stuff...
Turn that channel. You got a newscrush.
by JJ Seldron November 10, 2020