newage 

Pronounced to rhyme with "sewage", "newage" is a term used to refer to the spiritual practices of a sizable fraction of the populations of California and New Mexico.

Dude! I like _so_ totally can't attend that anti-capitalist rally in Berkeley until I've like totally balanced the energy flow in my loft, polished my mood crystals, and had my $15 thimbleful of Kopi Luwak coffee.

newage by rapmasta May 5, 2004

newage 

A euphamism for New Age music, a horrible, hideous genre of aimless, unlistenable drech for washed out, middle-aged ex-hippies and the power crystal clutching disciples of con men who use bits and pieces of various Eastern religions, interspersed with liberal helpings of pure bullshit in order to sell their overpriced, horribly written books (also filled with bullshit) and ugly quartz crystal trinkets. Rhymes with "sewage."

Hey, holmes, get that fucken' newage crap off of my sound system right now! And bury that c.d. once you're through taking it far, far away from anyone with anything resembling taste in music.

newage by the birds and trees September 17, 2006

newage 

A derogatory term compounding the words "new age" -and pronounced /ˈno͞oij/ (-rhyming with "sewage"). Used to label things that are touted as "spiritual" or "positive" -but are actually pretentious and otherwise useless.

"The newage in this retreat weekend workshop is just too much for me to take seriously."
"Crystals, raw veganism, energy-work, and 'positive thinking' are all just a bunch of newage"

newage by psychosufi May 17, 2017

Newage Narcissist 

A spiritual person with a profound sense of entitlement. They claim to be down-to-earth, eager to share their gifts, but are really looking to gain notarity, free shit, are extremely vain and talk about how spiritual they are non-stop.

Wow! That sound bath teacher couldn’t stop talking about herself and talked about wanted to find a millionaire boyfriend. She’s such a newage narcissist!

Newage Narcissist by BBXB April 8, 2019

Newage Slave

A post-modern individual who is in economic debt and believes their career is their purpose.

Person 1: "I have to use social media and entertainment to escape my reality of debt and depression."
Person 2: "Lol, newage slave moment."

Newage Slave by TheCentralBank February 24, 2023

newage slave

A post-modern individual in economical debt or societal debt.

Person 1: "ugh, I have to use social media to escape from my reality of crippling debt and living paycheck to paycheck. Also, why is gas so expensive, and items? Why can't I seem to be successful like all the YouTubers promised me."
Person 2: "Newage slave moment"

newage slave by TheCentralBank February 24, 2023

Nerageous 

So ridiculously bad, its some how amazing

"Whoa, that is the most ridiculous fish purse but you are pulling it off so well! That ensemble is absolutely nerageous."

Nerageous by Nayster September 30, 2009