my right hand 

My girlfriend.

I made love to my right hand yesterday

my right hand by t68egkghvshgvg8ofwbccjc wdtfge May 4, 2017

dating my right hand 

when you are dating your right hand, it means you are single, so instead of having sex with a person, you have it with you right hand.

Guy who is dating: i got a date with lizzie tonight!
Guy who is dating his right hand: i am still dating my right hand.

dating my right hand by !-Evan-! March 21, 2008

My phone flew to my left/right hand 

Used when someone sees something attractive online so they switch their phone to their non dominant hand so they can use their dominant hand to masturbate. Used mostly in comment sections

*miguel o hara edit plays*

commenter: The way my phone flew to my left/right hand

My phone flew to my left/right hand by jabberwokey October 11, 2023

as right as my jerk hand 

Confirmation/acceptance of something, referring to the speakers handedness for masturbation.

Brenda: You said we’re meeting at 1:30 for coffee, right?
Samuel: You’d be as right as my jerk hand with that.

as right as my jerk hand by wordfanagler January 2, 2019