Punching the Monkey

Euphamism for the act of coitus between a male and a female where the penis is inserted into the vagina only with a little more force than normally applied.

So Jim was punching the monkey last night and Linda got up in the middle of it and started crying as she said it hurt after taking it from the whole party all afternoon...

Punching the Monkey by Falg June 14, 2012

Punching Buttons Like a Drunk Monkey 

To fix a smart phone, computer or television by randomly or semi-randomly pushing buttons and tapping icons until it begins working correctly again.

"OMG! How did you get my phone to start working right again?" "I just started punching buttons like a drunk monkey."

Punching Buttons Like a Drunk Monkey by Don Heflin March 22, 2022

Monkeypunching 

The sexual acting of fully inserting an unpeeled ripe banana into another's orifice, and after complete insertion, reaching in and grabbing the banana in hand, enclosing the hand around the fruit making a fist, and attempting to remove the ripe fruit from the orifice repeatedly, causing the fruit to burst and squish internally in hand against the muscular closure force incurred by the orifice, until the hand is removed with a ruined banana. Metaphorically akin to the water finding trap used on baboons in the Sahara, or raccoon traps used in the American South as described in the novel "Where The Red Fern Grows"

The monkeypunching caused a prolapse that was as sweet as it was ejaculatory.
The monkeypuching did not go as planned, as an unripe banana was used, resulting in hemorrhaging, rather than hemmeroids.

Monkeypunching by Profane Virtue July 18, 2024