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mcdonalds shake machine 

A legendary machine said to exist inside of a McDonalds that allegedly serves milkshakes and only works once in a blue moon. If asked about the the machine, the McDonalds employees will almost always deny the allegation and say shake machine broke.
Legend has it that long ago there existed a prosperous time in which mankind was able to enjoy milkshakes from McDonalds. And then the dark times approached, wherein teenagers who were entitled and expected 15 dollars an hour became unwilling to serve milkshakes out of sheer laziness.

Soccer Mom: "Hi! Yes, could I get a chocolate milkshake, from the mcdonalds shake machine, please?"
McDonald's Teenage Employee: "Yeah uh, shake machine broke."
Soccer Mom: "Your shake machine is always 'broke'!!!"
McDonald's Teenage Employee: "Well it's not going to be fixed any time soon. I am too lazy."
Soccer Mom: "You lazy son of a bitch!"
McDonald's Teenage Employee: "How about some chocolate ass cream instead?"
Soccer Mom: "Up yours! Soccer moms will prevail!"
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Respectfully 

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murderhobo 

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Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.
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