masticulate

when a megaladon bites a human testicle

the megaladon decided it was a good idea to masticulate the lonesome diver.

by jimbolinni May 13, 2005

masticate

To grind or chew. It sounds like masturbate so dumb fucks who are too lazy to figure out its real definition assume it means masturbate. It's a funny word and has power.

I masticated my food.

by w00tw00t April 5, 2003

Matriculate

A fancy word used to make yourself sound more intelligent in a high stakes situation. Actual definition is irrelevant, use it confidently to replace any more common word and earn immediate respect from your friends and co-workers.

Len: What's the play coach?
Hank (Coaching in the Super Bowl and aware he is mic'd for sound): Just keep matriculating the ball down the field, boys.
Len: Got it coach!
Otis (Back in the huddle): What the hell does matriculate mean?
Len: I have no idea, but from the context it is clear he wants us to continue advancing the ball, and I'm inspired as fuck right now.

by mtgeezycreezy December 10, 2016

masticate

To chew, or to (literally) move the jaw up and down in a chewing motion.

It can easily be mistaken for masturbate. A very good word to play around with, it is; so much that I played around with a newspaper teacher's mind by using it in a piece of writing.

You're a masticator, aren't you?
Yes, you are, you bad, bad man.
You like to masticate meat.
Just admit it, yeah, yeah.

by Drake Aldan March 7, 2004

Masticate

Verb - A quick cover up in case the word "masturbate" is spoken innappropriately or ill timed.

Me Hey, want to masturbate with me?
Her Excuse me?
Me I asked if you would like to masticate.

by Skin Twig September 21, 2005

masticate

Main Entry: mas·ti·cate
Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): -cat·ed; -cat·ing
Etymology: Late Latin masticatus, past participle of masticare, from Greek mastichan to gnash the teeth; akin to Greek masasthai to chew -- more at MANDIBLE
Date: 1649
transitive senses
1 : to grind or crush (food) with or as if with the teeth in preparation for swallowing : CHEW
2 : to soften or reduce to pulp by crushing or kneading
intransitive senses : CHEW
- mas·ti·ca·tion /"mas-t&-'kA-sh&n/ noun
- mas·ti·ca·tor /'mas-t&-"kA-t&r/ noun

Do you hob nob while masticating your comestibles?

by Zach O'Brien January 3, 2004

masticate

from the latin verb "masticare"; To chew as in food.
This is also a pun on the word masturbate, which makes it a great conversation starter.

In our society, families gather around a table three times a day and masticate together.

by Masterwinks December 28, 2005