legal hypochondriac

n. An individual stricken with extreme litigiousness, usually due to a vicious combination of nosiness, paranoia, persecution complex, having too much time, and an innate and perhaps genetic inability to take responsibility for him or herself.

Much like a person for whom every sniffle is merely the first sign of impending death by swine flu, the legal hypochondriac believes that every one of life's minor inconveniences is not only someone else's fault, but someone else's legal liability. This necessitates calling at least three lawyers, writing letters, gathering boxes of evidence, filing multiple law suits, and then lodging complaints with the Law Society about the lawyers who refused to take the case on a contingency fee.

The legal hypochondriac can often be found on the black lists of every law firm within several hundred kilometres of his or her home.

legal hypochondriac by impartisan September 12, 2012