Lecturer

The provider of information in universities. If male elbowpatches are traditional (although you do get the occasional 'cool' one in jeans), if female either powersuits or dressing like a hippy. Results of a lecturer talking are as follows:

- roughly one paragraph of notes never to be used
- a quick nap
- a brilliant game of hangman usually more informative than the actual lecture.

"I need a nap before clubbing tonight."

"Yeh me too, which lecturer is it today?"

"Dr D, talking on female rights"

"Nap time it is!"

by saraith April 24, 2009

lecturer

A profession who is known for a) giving many assignments to college students every time there are new movies at cinemas, and b) using the term "thread pool" in Network Programming handouts, where this term "thread pool" happens to sound like the title of the movie that many parents deem to be too inappropriate for college students who still live with parents.

Our lecturer dropped a mountain of work right when the new blockbuster hit theaters, and now we're stuck choosing between movie night and finishing our Thread Pool assignment for our Network Programming class.

by Emotional Cruiser August 17, 2025

computer geek lecturer

In Israel it's one who was dunked head in the toilet and flushed on by the basketball heroes of the school and who set dates with girls that didn't show up in highschool. He joined the army glad 2 not see those jerks. in bootcamp the other soldiers held him down on the ground to fart on his face. After bootcamp the computer geek served a shit job at tel hashomer or lotem base cleaning the personal toilet of the disciplinary officer who spent 20-30 yrs eating only burgers. Once the israeli computer geek is out of the army he goes to university, does well and goes on to a msc and phd in computer science. On the way the computer geek makes himself excuses like "no time" for having had no dates in his life nor going to the gym or excersizing since bootcamp. Once the israeli computer geek is a lecturer it's a bit different. He can be an asshole in his own way giving bsc students weekly tasks where only the geeks like him who suffered in highschool and bootcamp don't lose part of the grade before the exam. When the Israeli computer geek is an educat the divorced 33-46 yr old women consider the man they meet at the pub since he isn't as dumb, drunk or broke as their electrician or nut salesman ex husband and an asshole to young bsc students counts as an asshole. Finally when the Israeli computer geek is in his way on top he also gets a good fuck when it no longer matters. A computer geek lecturer is the lecturer for any computer course you take in university who gives you shit.

Those computer geek lecturers want to feel good about themselves even though in highschool they were stood up by the hot chicks and dunked head in the toilet bowl for a flush by the basketball hero jocks so they give us impossible homework that only geeks like them can do.

by Math student with difficulties May 11, 2013

schrödinger's lecturer

An incompetent, pathetic teacher who is also somehow a powerful, dangerous Svengali capable of brainwashing young people in 50 mins. MWF and yet still incapable of getting students to do the reading or turn in assignments on time.

I am Schrödinger's lecturer; conservatives believe I can brainwash their children into becoming liberals, but also that I am incompetent and unworthy of a living wage, having to make do with less than $20,000 a year.

by fauxpow August 22, 2019

The Lecturer

A mans who knows it all. Gives out knowledge to kids in need of a beating such as Mac and Crack Cheese.

The Lecturer came in my room and yelled at me to buy a truck and a lawn mower.

by The real Trump jr November 4, 2022

Gonzo Lecture

A university lecture characterised by a replacement of the more formal yet boring teaching methods advocated by teacher training colleges and academic managers by insane sounding rants in which the lecturer replaces dry subject matter with their own uncomfortable, personal truth. Based on Hunter S. Thompson's particular brand of gonzo journalism, the Gonzo Lecture is characterised by first person point of view run wild and an oft-indistinguishable fusion of real-world facts and fictional confabulation. The gonzo lecturer may often combine their personal narrative style with contrived personal and often avant-garde anecdotes, expressions of angry disillusionment, foul language and other methods such as textbook throwing. Meta levels of thought are often subtly conveyed through homage to popular cultural symbols and controversial opinions with which the audience identifies. The objective of The Gonzo Lecture is to wake-up the audience to their own oppression by corrupt power systems through engaging them in personal reflection, prompted by their own discomfort. This reflection is designed to stimulate an aspiration on their part to rethink their self-concept as a channel towards personal change. The Gonzo Lecture, as part of the wider field of Gonzo Education is sometimes considered unprofessional by those not yet intellectually freed from the shackles of oppressive power.

Example 1:
Lecturer: This textbook on your required reading list is a piece of total fucking dog-shit! (throws the book into the lecture theatre to be fought over by the audience)

Student 1: This lecture is totally fucked up, man.

Student 2: Yeah...it's fuckin gonzo, dude.

Student 1: But that book IS totally shit, man.

Example 2:

Lecturer: So big corporations encourage you to volunteer in order that you can work for them for free in order that you can get good work experience for your CV so when you graduate you can get a good job with them, cos they already know you're a fucking gullible patsy who will serve them well for the future. Does that sound fucked up to you?

Student: (thinks...) Fuck, I volunteer for free all the time and never thought I was being taken advantage of. I love this Gonzo Lecture, it speaks truth.

by The Gonzo Lecture March 3, 2010

Hannibal Lecture

A plot device in a story which entails the villain giving a convincing lecture to its interrogator, usually in an attempt to justify itself; often successfully convincing the hero of his or her own moral shortcomings.

"You'd like to quantify me, Officer Starling. You're so ambitious, aren't you? Do you know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. You're a well-scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Your eyes are like cheap birthstones - all surface shine when you stalk some little answer. And you're bright behind them, aren't you? Desperate not to be like your mother. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation out of the mines Officer Starling. Is it the West Virginia Starlings or the Okie Starlings, Officer? It was a toss-up between college and the opportunities in the Women's Army Corps, wasn't it? Let me tell you something specific about yourself, Student Starling. Back in your room, you have a string of gold add-a-beads and you feel an ugly little thump when you look at how tacky they are now, isn't that so? All those tedious thank-yous, permitting all that sincere fumbling, getting all sticky once for every bead. Tedious. Tedious. Bo-o-o-o-r-i-ing. Being smart spoils a lot of things, doesn't it? And taste isn't kind. When you think about this conversation, you'll remember the dumb animal hurt in his face when you got rid of him. If the add-a-beads got tacky, what else will as you go along? You wonder don't you, at night?"

—The Hannibal Lecture by Hannibal Lecter, The Silence Of The Lambs (book)

by Kontesa January 13, 2010