A landwhale is an extremely large humanoid species.
Size: 200 lbs + ( no upper limit established)
Color: Most landwhales are white.
Diet: Landwhales are known to be obligate eaters, ie. they must eat every 4 -6 hours. They are omnivorous, favoring a diet of high fat high sugar fast foods. They typically favor cheaper fast foods, such as McDonalds, KFC, and Burger King. Favorite beverages are diet sodas and sweet tea.
Range: Global. Concentrated in the southeastern United States.
Habitat: Landwhales typically live in mobile homes, extended stay motels, and housing projects. They can often be found in minivans and KIA Soul cars.
Activity: Landwhales are most active in the mid afternoon hours, when they can be found grazing at Wal Mart or various fast food restaurants.
Social Structure: Landwhales tend to live in family groups, known as "packs." Most packs consist of a dominant female, usually the largest and oldest of the group, whom receives the largest subsidy check (typically from disability or other government schemes), and various daughters and grandchildren. Landwhales typically breed with multiple males, usually of the negro variety ( though less often with white trash or illegal immigrant males), with the parentage of their offspring dubious at best.
Lifespan: Landwhales, tend to mate around fourteen to sixteen years of age. They will continue to mate until around forty years of age, and rarely reach sixty.
Size: 200 lbs + ( no upper limit established)
Color: Most landwhales are white.
Diet: Landwhales are known to be obligate eaters, ie. they must eat every 4 -6 hours. They are omnivorous, favoring a diet of high fat high sugar fast foods. They typically favor cheaper fast foods, such as McDonalds, KFC, and Burger King. Favorite beverages are diet sodas and sweet tea.
Range: Global. Concentrated in the southeastern United States.
Habitat: Landwhales typically live in mobile homes, extended stay motels, and housing projects. They can often be found in minivans and KIA Soul cars.
Activity: Landwhales are most active in the mid afternoon hours, when they can be found grazing at Wal Mart or various fast food restaurants.
Social Structure: Landwhales tend to live in family groups, known as "packs." Most packs consist of a dominant female, usually the largest and oldest of the group, whom receives the largest subsidy check (typically from disability or other government schemes), and various daughters and grandchildren. Landwhales typically breed with multiple males, usually of the negro variety ( though less often with white trash or illegal immigrant males), with the parentage of their offspring dubious at best.
Lifespan: Landwhales, tend to mate around fourteen to sixteen years of age. They will continue to mate until around forty years of age, and rarely reach sixty.
by tnmetis July 18, 2023
by Hammerjacket August 21, 2023
A landwhale is a humanoid organism weighing in excess of 300lbs (although smaller specimens have been reported). They are often seen in the company of other landwhales and humans. Interbreeding between landwhales and humans, although once thought impossible, has been know to occur and produce viable offspring in isolated cases. In fact, it is rumored that humans can turn in to landwhales if they do not follow a healthy diet and excersize regularly; this statement has yet to be confirmed by science. Genus: Homo, Species: cetaceous.
The landwhale attempted to climb the stairs, but had to stop on the 5th step due to heavy breathing.
by TheNaturalist April 20, 2015
A glutton that is so fat that she is unable reach back to wipe her ass or perform other basic hygiene.
Members of NAAFA (North American Association Fat Asses) Found on NAAFA blogspot, Big Fat Blog and other fat acceptance organizations.
You had better get to the buffet before that landwhale does.
Those Wal-Mart scooters must be built like tanks because they can handle some really big landwhales.
You had better get to the buffet before that landwhale does.
Those Wal-Mart scooters must be built like tanks because they can handle some really big landwhales.
by The Real Fat Bastard April 24, 2018
by Bully Bitch May 24, 2016
A landwhale is a fat bitch who exceeds over the scale and is obese as shit. aka hunters type of women.
Ryan: Hey Hunter did you see that landwhale over there?
Hunter: yea, she is looking mighty fine. I should put my penis in her.
Hunter: yea, she is looking mighty fine. I should put my penis in her.
by Funwithryan on YT January 13, 2020
A hilarious term used to call “big-boned” people fat as hell preferably women who think they’re hot bitches
by TheRealistAsshole February 08, 2023