infirmercial

A long-winded television-based sales-pitch spiel dat comes across as wimpy and insubstantial.

To take da term "infirmercial" in a literal sense, some of said boob-tube-bee-ess presentations may indeed promise products/services/practices dat supposedly will cure yer lethargy and boost yer vitality, but predictably, about da only effect dat said pricey offerings actually have is to make yer FINANCES more "infirm"! :P