pilates

A form of torture created by Pontius Pilate, the man who crucified the savior. It's not as easy as you might think. St. Paul was certified in Pilates and Advanced Spin. The original 12 wanted to emphasize diet (bread, wine, omega 3s from fish oil, etc.) This caused quite a schism as you might imagine. This went on for awhile, until the Serfing craze caught on with the Barbarian invasion of Ringo, George, Cedric, and Dagobert.

After the crucifixion,a lot of fitness buffs tried to jump on the band wagon so Pilate was forced opened a gym (Pilates Fitness, inc.) at the local coliseum and hire some trainers. The gold members were given the "Martyr" card.

by Pantaloon January 18, 2008

pilates

The latest set of exercises that can make you look really good if you work at them dilligently and suffer through some pain, but are marketed as "easy" and "fun" in books and videotapes for the 25-50 female crowd.

Aerobics and weights and yoga all failed, but pilates has this weird sounding name so maybe it's different and will work.

by jules X January 24, 2004

pilates

A group of pirates that speak Engrish.

Oh my! The pilates have raided my house and written mistranslated obsceneties all over my walls!

by Craig Riley March 21, 2005

Pilates

A New age and highly refined exercise method primarily developed to train the bodies of soldiers and fighters to make them more able to withstand and deliver power and sudden violent force. Now it is primarily practiced by smart women who want to look like they can kick ass in a fight and who probably can for real.

As Dara pulsed through Pilates Corkscrews she imagined a scenario involving a large man attempting to force her to sit but using her core and leg strength to maintain stabilitiy and to not fall and then summarily to use her agility, mobility, and power to deliver a throat punch to her harasser followed by a swift knee to his soft belly. Before that people just thought of her as a Pilates Princess with a hot body, but now they understood she was a bad**s.

by alixDDD July 18, 2025

Pilates in a Supermarket

You lost the frickin game you weiner, that's what it means. It means your mom. Oh speaking of her, can you ask herr to bring my wallet back home, I left it on her dresser after she sucked my toes.

Fricker: Yo, she was doing Pilates in the Supermarket
Me: No way dude, that's lit
Fricker: Yeah, and then she sucked my toes after wards
Me: No way, I need to talk to this Pilates in a Supermarket
Fricker: No way, give me 30 bucks
Me: Uh no

LOVE ME ALEX

by This is Karen, an anti-vax mom May 9, 2019

Old Fart Pilates

A specialized genre of Pilates classes geared to older fitness conscious folks.

Well I’m off to Old Fart Pilates class, gotta keep this hardbody going!

by Dr Bunnygirl August 18, 2019

pink pilates princess

pink smoothies, reading in bed, workouts in pretty pink sets, 10 step skincare routines, jewellery while she works out, the ultimate girly green juice girl.

I'm in my pink pilates princess era

by charl<3 March 8, 2022