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i'm holding it for a friend

I am most certainly not holding it for a friend.
Johnny what is this newly purchased carton of Marlboro's doing in your sock drawer?

It's not mine...I'm holding it for a friend!

I ain't fuckin this cat, I'm just holding the legs 

Don't blame me, it ain't my plan, I just work here.
Jack: Why are we reorganizing the supply closet for the third time this week.

John: Hey, I ain't fuckin this cat, I'm just holding the legs.

Jack: Got it.

I'm not holding on to you. I've got my entire knee.

I see you’re bored. You are so bored that you even look for meaningless phrases.
Tim: I’m bored. I’ll search “ I'm not holding on to you. I've got my entire knee.“.
Robert: What?

i'm not fucking this dog, just holding it's head 

Used to describe your non-involvment in anything that you are watching in person. Especially if what you are watching is not something someone should be doing.
Another way of saying "Don't ask me, I just work here" or "I'm just a by stander to this party"

Person A: Why is that guy got his dick hanging over the banister
You: i'm not fucking this dog, just holding it's head.