Hellaporting is a manifestation of the mind in that which you transfer your molecular matter into the subspace of inexistence, only to spontaneously reappear in another location.
Dude: "I bought a house in Livermore but I still have to drive to The City for work every day..."
Dude's Friend: "Dude, I'd rather shoot myself than be stuck with that hellacommute!"
Friends you never talk to albeit saying "Hello" and "Goodbye" while passing in the halls. These friends are usually people that you have classes with, people you've done a group project with, lab partners, etc.