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hands-free

\'han(d)z-ˈfrē\ (verb)
The act of using any body part other than the hands to masturbate.
I got pulled over for driving erratically, but I was totally hands-free!
hands-free by dillymax May 26, 2010

hands free 

Slang. Someone who is a 'mental' and subsequently talks to themselves.

Derived from people that speak on hands free and look like they are talking to themselves (as there is no one visibly present) but are in fact having a phone conversation.

The 'mentals' on the other hand, have the exact same conversation... but they ain't plugged in to no one!
.
Man that Penelope is hands free. I was on the bus the other day and she was there chewing her hand and talking to herself.

Poor old Billy ever since he caught his mum engaged in bukkake with the local football team and his dad then committed suicide and his pet dog got run over and his house got burnt down and he lost his arm in a chainsaw accident, has gone a bit handsfree. Man, I swear down, I saw him in the street the other day, shouting at himself.
hands free by stuntedmonk January 14, 2008

hands free 

the incredible ability to masturbate without any contact with one's genitals. a skill the male japanese business class has cultivated for decades.
hands free by Dickie Moist November 6, 2003

Hands-free masturbation device

A girlfriend. When you're getting it on the regular, you don't need to hold your own. Now you can play videogames while bustin' a nut, because you've got both hands free.
Peter: "Dude, who was that hottie I saw you with at the club last night?"

Paul: "Oh, that's Bethany. She's my hands-free masturbation device."

hands free fapping 

troll bait
newfags can't type "hands free fapping"
hands free fapping by anon83!@& February 3, 2012

Hands-free masturbation device

Venus 2000 its the next best thing.
Feels so good to be in my Hands-free masturbation device.
More from Urban Dictionary

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
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