green iron disease

Green Iron Disease, also sometimes referred to as Green Fever, is a fairly well known (among people affected by it), largely irreversible but nevertheless somewhat treatable condition in which an individual develops a passion and craving for surplus military hardware, most notably military vehicles. Symptoms of Green Iron Disease may include (but are not limited to) owning multiple military vehicles, generators, and the like, maxed-out credit cards, junk email from the government surplus auction web sites, = reduction in time spent with one's spouse because they're wrenching on trucks, irritated homeowner's associations and city code enforecement officers when one's backyard looks like a national guard unit, and complaining neighbors.

When the person experiences withdrawals from military vehicles or hardware, they may exhibit symptoms such as depression, and either avoiding fellow addicts or turning to them for help with managing their symptoms.

Although Green Iron Disease is believed to be incurable, its symptoms can be mitigated by ownership of one or more military vehicles, although as the disease grows the number of vehicles or items owned also proportionally increases. Withdrawals, usually caused by being forced to sell one's collection, can be mitigated by acquiring other military vehicles.

"Man, you've got the green iron disease! You're screwed! "

"The 12 step program for recovering addicts is simple for green iron disease: Buy more surplus military hardware!"

"I just sold my Deuce and a Half and I'm going through Green Iron Disease withdrawals!"

by GreenIronAddict November 19, 2017