Pronounced Gone-ah-tock-ah-more-kin.
Used as a response to an unwelcomed
chat-up line (or just an attempt to hit on you), gonatokamorkins are purposely
bad "chat-up lines". Their purpose is to take the
piss of the person trying to pick you up, making them leave in either embarrassment or confusion.
Gonatokamorkins can make no sense whatsoever, or they can also sound suggestive (or just plain dodgy), but then turn out to be meant quite literately. This often results in the person finding themselves in a situation that makes them feel rather stupid.
Some examples of gonatokamorkins:
- Do you want to Panini my bikini?
- Do you want to
fudge my cookie?
- Do you want to sharpen my knife?
- Do you want to hit my interactive whiteboard?
- Can I play with your matches?
- How
hard is your rock?
- Do you want to
lick my
penguin?
- Can I ride in your pope mobile?
- Where’s your secret passage?
- Do you want to melt my crayon?
Gonatokamorkins in use:
man at
party: “Babe, you must be a criminal, it’s got to be illegal to look that good.”
girl at
party: *winks* “Want to help me find my lion?” (that’s the gonatokamorkin)
man: *makes creepy
cat-
like noise and leads her upstairs to bedroom*
girl: *starts looking in wardrobe, under bed, etc*
man: “err… what are you doing?”
girl: “looking for my lion! Aren’t you going to
help?”
man: *confused* “umm...” *leaves room*
later…
girl: “eww, I just had some really creepy
guy try to chat me up.”
girl’s friend: “Oh fun. How did you get rid of him?”
girl: “I used a gonatokamorkin.” *smiles* “You should have seen his face!”
friend: *laughs* “Oh, nice one.”
***
man’s friend: “so, did you get with that chick you were after earlier?”
man: “no, she was really
weird, so I left.”
friend: “what did she do?”
man: “I used the old chat up line
trick, and she seemed to go for it because she said one back. Something
weird about ‘finding her lion’. Anyway, I figured she was up for it so I took her upstairs, but then she actually started… well, looking for her lion.”
friend: *laughs at his friend* “trust you to actually fall for that”
man: *embarrassment*
