A relatively sexually inexperienced girl; whom, upon becoming your girlfriend will require a bit of assistance as to how to properly get your mojo workin'.
Guy #1: How's your new chickie?
Guy #2: Dude, I had to spend 45 minutes showing her how to properly hold the goods while hand jobbin me.
Guy #1: Well... she is a girlfriend in training after all...
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.