A store where you can'
t just go in, buy a game and leave without being harrassed about other
stuff.
Customer:
Hi, I'd just like to buy Gears of War 2.
GameStop Employee: Alright. Would you like to get the regular version, or the
special limited edition with the
cool artwork and the
metal box and the holographic trading cards and the
extra DVD included for $10 more?
Customer: The regular version is fine.
GameStop Employee: Would you like to get
the used version for $54.99 instead of $59.99?
Customer: Well... no, not really.
GameStop Employee: Would you like to get the strategy guide for $19.99?
Customer: No thank you.
GameStop Employee: Do you have an Edge card?
Customer: No.
GameStop Employee: Good, because you can sign up for an Edge card for $19.99. You can use the Edge card to get more store credit for your trade-ins. You can use it to get discounts when you buy used games. Plus it comes with Game Informer magazine, which is the best magazine ever.
Customer: No thanks, not right now.
GameStop Employee: We'
re also now taking pre-order reservations for Halo Wars, Street Fighter IV, Madden 2010, Resident Evil 5, and a bunch of other games that come out 2 years from now. For $5 down.
Customer: NO!
GameStop Employee: But it guarantees you a copy on the day the game is released.
Customer: I've bought plenty of games on the day it came out without reserving. Unless it's something like Halo, chances are the game
will be available. Can I just buy my game?
GameStop Employee: Do you want to
add a warranty to the game for $5 in case anything happens to it?
Customer: Do you want to shut the
fuck up? I just want to buy the fucking game.
GameStop Employee: Do you have any used games to trade in for this purchase?
Customer: NO, MOTHERFUCKER!
GameStop Employee: Want any free 6-month subscriptions to any of the following magazines? You can pick two.
Customer: JUST CHARGE ME FOR THIS
SHIT SO I CAN GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE.
GameStop Employee: Okay, here you
go. Oh, and one more thing, at the bottom of your receipt is a website you can visit where you can enter to
win a free game system of your choice.
Customer: ...
Going to GameStop with the intention of simply buying a game and leaving without being stopped, harrassed, threatened, and asked a bunch of questions, is about as realistic as going to an
airport wearing a
turban with a beard with the intention of getting on a
plane without being stopped, harrassed, threatened, and asked a bunch of questions.
