(general
definition) - A young male so lecherous that he is suspected of having regular intercourse with any number of females from every walk of society. This he accomplishes because he solicits everyone and everything for sex, and scores on volume. always at the ready, he wears clothes convenient for the purpose (such as
loose-fitting polyester basketball shorts), and, although usually poor, maintains a lifestyle that affords him every opportunity to solicit and have sex at a moment's notice. This includes mutiple
cell phone accounts (typically nextels or other push-to-talk devices), a low-skill
job allowing for
heavy domestic interaction (such as installing satellite dishes), and very poor personal hygiene, as it cuts into his fuck-
time.
A fuckdog is nearly always a redneck and can often be identified by a perpetually unkempt
cat-'stache. When sexually engaged, he typically leaves the premises before his ejaculation is fully complete, shouting '
SPLOOGE!' as he achieves
orgasm (though this happens so quickly that by the
time he shouts 'splooge!' he is often trailing his voice down the hall and out the door, on to the next easy conquest). It is difficult for a fuckdog to keep any plans or appointments, since the slightest prospect of sex will lead him astray.
(proper noun) - Fuckdog (capitalized) is a nickname borne by a specific legendary individual who inhabits the deep South. Much like the Yeti or the Loch Ness
monster, Fuckdog figures prominently in regional oral tradition, specifically as it relates to redneck sex-lore. Though an incontrovertible redneck, Fuckdog has had sex with women of every age, race, economic background and intellect. Indeed, many women find his brashness and quaint lechery charming. Not only does Fuckdog epitomize the traits common to all fuck
dogs; he lives in such a way that he exaggerates them: his genitals are constantly eroded and raw; his ejaculate is watery and clear; yet he mysteriously remains STD-free and tends to achieve
orgasm rapidly, no matter how frequently he splooges, nor how slight the sexual stimulus (in fact, his stimulus is often merely aural or visual). Although he has a proper name, even
friends and family members refer to him as 'Fuckdog.' He has been banned from many college campuses, stores, churches and other places where
girls are vulnerable. This, however, has inspired his interest in the art of disguise, although his busy schedule ensures that his disguises, while sometimes effective, are always half-assed.
1) In the
time it took for him to answer his
cell phone, the fuckdog picked up a girl in his S-
10, splooged all over her, forced her out the door, and sped off to another engagement.
2) Fuckdog planned to drive to New Orleans, but made only as far as Montgomery before being waylaid by a housewife at a roadside service station. Further dalliances prompted him to take weeks finding his way back home.
