Douchectomy

The act of removing a douchbag from ones life.

Sally: Brad blew me off again last night.

Susie: You just need to perform a douchectomy on him.

by Paigeyloo April 7, 2009

Douchectomy

The surgical removal of douchebaggery from an infected individual. This procedure is very risky and is typically performed only in emergencies; in severe cases where the douchebaggery has had time to metastasize the operation is often fatal.

"Listen guys, I know it's bad, but it's just too late! If we give him a douchectomy now it's going to kill him: the disease has spread so far that there won't be anything left you can see without a microscope!

....Hell, maybe that ain't so bad."

by Southern Geologist October 12, 2016

doucherectomy

When one attempts to reinvent oneself in the hope of excising or removing one's douche-like qualities

Chris: Mike is such a shitpile. I can't handle it anymore.

Kevin: I don't know, he'd probably say that's 'subjectable'
Chris: How can he? He's a useless twat lip
Kevin: He might not be so bad if he got a doucherectomy
Chris: There's no help for him

by Cebbin December 31, 2013

emergency deucectomy

The act of removing a dangerous & potentially deadly poo immediately.

After making four trips through the buffet line, I need to perform an emergency deucectomy stat!

by slice60 November 24, 2009