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get your feces coagulated 

Hey man your problem is you stay in trouble...get your feces coagulated before you wind up in jail.

coagulated 

To cause transformation of (a liquid or sol, for example) into or as if into a soft, semisolid, or solid mass
her blood after she was stabed 30 times in the neck began to coagulate on the floor after the first 48 hours of being there
coagulated by Trey June 25, 2004

coagulated cunt spatter 

"Troy told me last night he was hiding in the girls bathroom in a trash can and some chick threw a tampon covered in Coagulated Cunt Spatter on his face"

Crongulation 

A simple mathematical sum which due to the ineptitudes of an individual, ends with a hugely erroneous answer, namely a crongulation.
Worker 1 "Dude, you seem to have a crongulation here. You've managed to add two and two and got potato"

Worker 2 "Oh man, I totally crongulated those figures. I'm sorry"
Crongulation by mottleyc February 14, 2013

coagulated cumquats

When a male hasn't busted a nut in so long that his sieman begins to gelatinize in his ball sack. Serious swelling may occur. A male with Coagulated Cumquats is usually a loose cannon and could blow at any minute.
Masterbation has lost its thrill for Bruce and he hasn't gotten laid in 10 months. He's suffering from a serious case of Coagulated Cumquats and I wouldn't fuck with him.

coagulated 

you are coagualted leave me alone!!
coagulated by Sniperco. June 10, 2003