A couch guru is an individual who lives on your couch and provides nuggets of wisdom, advice, and the dankest weed hook-ups. The couch guru sustains themselves by consuming Mountain Dew, Doritos and porn. Example: the guy on the couch from Half Baked.
My couch guru hooked me up with a new water bong and advised me on how to fix my relationship with my father.
by Colberttoldmeto August 23, 2016
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