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Coinbase 

Theory - an online cryptocurrency exchange that allows you to exchange fiat for cryptos such as bitcoin, ethereum, litecoin.

Reality - thieving bandits that switch site access on and off as when they please, no customer support, raping people for margin and stealing their assets (see eth flashcrash of June 2016). Treating their customers like pieces of sh**, transactions pending for weeks on end, locked out of accounts for no reason, funds mysteriously disappearing, IMPOSSIBLE to log in when there is any volatility
Oh look, ETH just dropped 0.0000001%, now would be a good time to buy... let me log in to my coinbase account anddd....

COINBASE:

"Service Unavailable"

Coinbase is currently down for maintenance. Please try again later or see our status page for more information.

"Fuck you coinbase"
Coinbase by cryptojunkie June 22, 2017
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Coinbase Noob 

An amateur crypto trader who acts like he knows a lot about cryptocurrencies and NFTs, but in reality, they don't know shit and only buy tokens listed on Coinbase.

Coinbase noobs also do not have a cold wallet and are typically the victims of crypto scams and do not know the meaning of certain crypto terms including blockchain, Defi, Gas, and others.
Mani: Hey man, this crypto that's listed on CoinBase, it's going to the moon!

Timothy: Dude, Mani is such a Coinbase Noob.
Jerome: Fo'real
Coinbase Noob by LaxativeReviews August 30, 2021
Related Words

Cainbase 

Cainbase is what happens when you put an idiot into a site known as clanbase and this idiot changes rules in clanbase for the better or for the worse
www.clanbase.com is the site you must goto and join a forum to ask about cain for examples :]
Cainbase by iownyou December 9, 2004
Same definition as the term "based", but when it has direct relation or inference of the cryptocurrency trading platform, Coinbase or Coinbase Pro.
Trader 1: "I heard the CEO of Coinbase actually own up to a mistake they made and turned things around rather rapidly"
Trader 2: Yeah he's actually pretty Coinbased if you ask me.
coinbased by Mr. Moustache707 October 1, 2021
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proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
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person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
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Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
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When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
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Me: Poggers!
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Oblication 

A vacation, feeling more like an obligation, that involves visiting or staying with family.
So Joe where are you taking the kids for spring break vacation? We are going on an oblication to Boca to visit my mother-in-law.
Oblication by kimmerr May 5, 2011
Word of the Day on October 25, 2026

Surf Dracula Syndrome 

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For example, if a series is titled "Surf Dracula," a majority of viewers would tune in expecting to see Dracula surfing by the first or second episode. However, the entire first season would instead be tedious padding and backstory before finally ending with Dracula surfing in the last five minutes of the season finale.
I watched "Smallville" on Netflix the other day. Dude, it was ten seasons of filler before he finally flew! Major Surf Dracula Syndrome!
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