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Coinbase 

Theory - an online cryptocurrency exchange that allows you to exchange fiat for cryptos such as bitcoin, ethereum, litecoin.

Reality - thieving bandits that switch site access on and off as when they please, no customer support, raping people for margin and stealing their assets (see eth flashcrash of June 2016). Treating their customers like pieces of sh**, transactions pending for weeks on end, locked out of accounts for no reason, funds mysteriously disappearing, IMPOSSIBLE to log in when there is any volatility
Oh look, ETH just dropped 0.0000001%, now would be a good time to buy... let me log in to my coinbase account anddd....

COINBASE:

"Service Unavailable"

Coinbase is currently down for maintenance. Please try again later or see our status page for more information.

"Fuck you coinbase"
Coinbase by cryptojunkie June 22, 2017
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Coinbase Noob 

An amateur crypto trader who acts like he knows a lot about cryptocurrencies and NFTs, but in reality, they don't know shit and only buy tokens listed on Coinbase.

Coinbase noobs also do not have a cold wallet and are typically the victims of crypto scams and do not know the meaning of certain crypto terms including blockchain, Defi, Gas, and others.
Mani: Hey man, this crypto that's listed on CoinBase, it's going to the moon!

Timothy: Dude, Mani is such a Coinbase Noob.
Jerome: Fo'real
Coinbase Noob by LaxativeReviews August 30, 2021
Related Words

Cainbase 

Cainbase is what happens when you put an idiot into a site known as clanbase and this idiot changes rules in clanbase for the better or for the worse
www.clanbase.com is the site you must goto and join a forum to ask about cain for examples :]
Cainbase by iownyou December 9, 2004
Same definition as the term "based", but when it has direct relation or inference of the cryptocurrency trading platform, Coinbase or Coinbase Pro.
Trader 1: "I heard the CEO of Coinbase actually own up to a mistake they made and turned things around rather rapidly"
Trader 2: Yeah he's actually pretty Coinbased if you ask me.
coinbased by Mr. Moustache707 October 1, 2021
To take something small, that doesn't quite qualify as a theft. Probably from the Danish "skæv" or the Dutch "scheef", both of which are pronounced similarly, meaning "askew, or not quite right'. To change an item's ownership without permission, but only something small and of little worth.
"I skeefed an apple off the neighbor's tree." "I skeefed some chips outta your bag when you looked away." "Don't skeef my chair when I go to the bathroom."
Skeef by kachinaflonk July 16, 2026
Word of the Day on July 17, 2026

Hair spider

A tight, tangled knot of loose hair and lint that forms inside clothing during the clothes dryer cycle. It typically hides inside garments, causing an annoying lump or a phantom tickling sensation against the skin until it is found or falls out onto the floor during folding.
I was folding my clothes and a huge hair spider fell out onto my hand
Hair spider by Kmorsels July 15, 2026
Word of the Day on July 16, 2026
n. A screenshot fabricated by a company to misrepresent the graphics of a game; a combination of the words bullshit and screenshot.

Originated from Penny Arcade, a popular gaming webcomic.
-Have you seen Madden 2006 for the Xbox 360? The graphics are gonna be awesome!
-Dude, the Madden 2006 images they showed at E3 were bullshots. It doesn't look nearly as good as they said.
bullshot by Worker Unit #503,298,545 September 26, 2005
Word of the Day on July 15, 2026