A specific ‘type’ of man: typically tall & broad in stature &, more importantly, paternal in nature. We’ve all come across a chumpy daddy in our day, whether you’re aware of it or not. Should you need any
help identifying a potential CD please find an extensive, but by no means exhaustive, list of traits below:
- Loves
rugby & only
rugby, except for a summertime dabble in
cricket- Rubs your back a lot
- Big givers e.g. loves to go down on you & asks you if you’re enjoying it
- Bootleg jeans & wrong shoes
- Probably an
uncle by age
25
- Makes
cooked breakfasts with black pudding
- Drives, or aspires to drive, a big gauche
car (think Land Rover defender/Range Rover evoque)
- If he’s not live in the stadium he books out areas at pubs to watch big sporting events
- Leggings under their shorts in the gym
- Steak & red wine lover’s
- A water bottle the size of their daily water consumption with lines to mark the time in the day they should drink it by
- Does poos in clubs
- Cologne that smells of musk
- Brunette (but not always)
- Love stouts & ales
- Always wearing a collared shirt of some kind
- Mahogany furniture
- Loves a Big
Mac- Girthy dick (probably uncircumcised)
- Would pay for an umpiring qualification
- A generous host & sees the role as some sort of Olympic sport
- Doesn’t laugh often, but when they do it’s an eruption of hearty belly laughter in response to something unintended to be a
joke- Most likely lives in the south of
England
