blogger's block 

Inability to think of anything to blog about.

I am suffering from the worst case of blogger's block ever. I haven't posted anything for over two months.

blogger's block by esfingecolibri December 5, 2007

blogger's disease 

A sub-variant of Unwarranted Self Importance (USI) widely seen among the Internet-going population. Became common once everybody from your Grandma to your kindergarten teacher realized they could create a blog/Facebook page/YouTube channel where they could inflict their opinions on those unlucky enough to wander by with zero consequences or monetary cost.

In days past, the disease was restricted to ranting street preachers, and was limited by factors such as the price of soap-boxes and copy paper, and the generally low levels of give a shit present in the pre-Internet population

Symptoms consist of:
1) assuming that people on the Internet like you and the things you say, when most are actually indifferent at best
2) projecting your narrow interests on to people who don't share them, then confusing their bored silence for approval
3) producing content which focuses mostly on shallow appeals for approval, instead of actually informing, challenging or entertaining
4) cultivating a small clique of like-minded Internet goers, which (despite representing a microscopic fraction of the population as a whole) you then cite as proof that you're "kind of a big deal"

Treatment includes:
1) deleting the offending Facebook/YouTube/blog pages
2) re-connecting with real life friends and family over shared activities
3) rediscovering that nobody on the Internet really cares that much about your life, your cat, or what you had for dinner today (even the people that say they do)

Doctor: "Yes, I was afraid of this...it's Blogger's Disease. And a bad case, too. I've seen it a hundred times."
Patient: "My God, is there any cure?"
Doctor: "Yes there is... but I'm afraid you won't like it. It might require you to be less of a douche. It may require you to interact with the physical world. Are you prepared to handle it?
Patient: "Whatever it takes, Doctor."
Doctor: *smashes laptop to pieces with a hammer*

blogger's disease by Baroque T. Frankenheimer January 21, 2014

Blogger's Law 

Blogger's Law: as soon as you finally post something, glaring errors will appear.

A derivative of Murphy's Law, the Blogger's law accounts for the inevitability of everything necessary for a sensible online publication going wrong nanoseconds after publishing something on the internet. In spite of all human and machine-assisted efforts to proofread and edit, mistakes and glaring errors will happen for all to see.

Aspiring writer: I finally published our latest blog post!
Editor: I'm not thrilled, did you account for the Blogger's Law?
Suddenly unemployed online writer: $%&#!?! I swear the headline had no typos before I hit publish!

Blogger's Law by Trust me, I internetted once. August 1, 2017

Blogger's Tan 

Proper Noun; 1. The pasty vampire-like color of ones skin who never comes into contact with direct sunlight. To be interchangeable with Editor's Tan (A term granted to editor's, generally vile creatures who dwell in dark cave-like spaces in which they hover over computer screens compiling video information for the completion of a form of entertainment.)

The "Blogger's Tan" was dubbed such because historically those who sit at computers all day and night rarely come into contact with actual natural light. This grants them a glowy sort of halo when they walk around underneath any kind of artificial light source.

The "Blogger's Tan" was first coined by television show producer Nick Pavonetti in early 2009 when he saw someone who blogs for a living and accused them of having the "Blogger's Tan". Since then it has begun catching on and spreading throughout small groups within the Hollywood scene.

"Wow, dude that guy's got a major Blogger's Tan."
"You mean he's really pale?"
"Yes... That's exactly what i mean."

"Man whenever I go out into the sun I burn up like a fricken' tinder box. Damn this blogger's tan!"

Blogger's Tan by The Super Villain June 24, 2009

blogger's butt 

Weight gain in the gluteal region which is directly related to spending large amounts of time blogging.

Susan realized she would have to spend less time blogging and more time exercising to keep from getting blogger's butt.

blogger's butt by esfingecolibri December 5, 2007

schrodinger's blogger 

Schrodinger's Blogger is a term used to describe self-styled journalists who uphold little/no standards of journalistic rigour or integrity, only to declare themselves bloggers upon being challenged on their lack of professionalism.

Commenter - "With even the most basic fact-checking, you can dismiss 90% of this article. Shoddy journalism."
Schrodinger's Blogger - "This was just a blog post about my personal views on the matter."
Commenter - "You're Schrodinger's Blogger."

schrodinger's blogger by Ste V B May 1, 2015

blogger street cred 

Short for "web logger street credibility"

1. The amount of respect you have gained from other members of your blogging community (generally a subcommunity of the overall blogger community, such as "video game bloggers")

2. A term used sarcastically because people who blog do so on the internet, which is widely regarded as the least credible source for information apart from televised news.

That dude totally lost some blogger street cred when he decided to post his views on violence in gaming, which every other video game blogger disagreed with.

blogger street cred by Ryan "Blackguard" Shwayder June 11, 2006